Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Upping the Squeam Factor

There will be no mention of anal probes here on this G-rated blogspot.
Ah, what the hell…

Generally, one shies away from discussing one’s adventures with anal probes but ever since my anal probe yesterday I can’t stop saying “anal probe”. It’s just not-stop fun!

The reactions of a four year old to a father’s colonoscopy are rather priceless. While others didn’t really care to hear too much of the experience, Fergus was like “tell me everything that happened Daddy, right from the start…. don’t leave anything out.” When I got to the bit about the actual procedure he roared with laughter and shouted “Ha ha, that’s gotta hurt”. But I think I may have left out an important tidbit of information in relating the events to him because later, in bed…

Fergus: “Are you okay now Daddy?”
Daddy: “Yes, I’m fine. I was always fine.”
Fergus: “You don’t have your bandages on anymore”
Daddy: “No, I took them off (IV bandages)”
Fergus: “But you still have that thing in your bum right?… doesn’t it hurt?”
Daddy: “NO NO NO Noooooooooooooo”

“Rectum? Darn near killed him.” (RJKB)

By the way, it may have been the drugs or it may have been that my colon and bowels are particularly boring, but after being invited to watch my inner-self on the TV monitor I think I fell asleep (hmmm, maybe they TiVo’d it for me?).

In lieu of a photo anywhere near related to the events detailed in this post - here’s one of Bob Ross painting a happy little scene:

6 comments:

memet said...

Well, I logged on to check if by any chance you actually wrote something about your procedure yesterday, and I was not disappointed! You make ME roar with laughter!

Rachel said...

I am supposed to have one of these soon, myself. (I admit I have been avoiding it for various reasons.) I'm glad to hear the details of the event were so interesting to a four year old, since I imagine I will have to recount mine as well.

What in the world is Bob doing to his beautiful painting? He's going to destroy that carefully depicted lake with that giant brush and what looks like...yellow?! Oh, phew, on closer inspection, it doesn't seem to actually have any paint on it. Close one, Bob.

Rebecca said...

I hope you at least asked for pictures.

After my probing experience, I had photographic evidence to share with my then 5 year old. In fact, he asked for them before I went.

It was the least the GI could do.

mesmith said...

Ha - never noticed the gargatuan brush. My eyes were diverted to the fuzzy hair and fuzzy hair alone.

Rebecca - No, no pictures. Perhaps next time.

Zenmomma said...

OMG thanks for the laugh Pimp Daddy. I really needed it today.

I once had to have an endoscopy (pictures of the stomach through a tube down the throat)at the same time as a colonoscopy. I joked to a friend that they stick the tube in one end until it comes out the other.

She believed me.

kelli said...

Yes as zm said, thanks for the laugh, I also needed one this morning.

Those exchanges are priceless :)