Monday, 14 April 2008

A whole mess o’ pithy observations and what-not

When I drive the black car, which is full of colourful/ magnetic dots, people smile and point at me. When I drive the silver car, which has a total of only four (well placed) dots, people say things to me like “what do you mean the circle thingys (it’s always “circle thingys” with the strangers!) don’t symbolize any particular cause and they’re just for fun…. I don’t get it!?!”

Today, at the gym, I fell off the treadmill (no fooling)… and then - eghad - tried to get back on it without stopping the machine. Stumbling, yet ever maintaining my coolness, I did manage to successfully lunge myself back on the hurtling beast, all the while ignoring the bemused stares of the encircling, sweat-clad throng. I kinda twisted my wrist - but I was okay and even my ego wasn’t bruised since I knew it would make good, if not overly-dramatic, blogging fodder!

Did you know that in the time it takes to drive eight kilometres up and down the road in front of our house, after having the large bag of garbage that you meant to drop off down by the garage but instead drove halfway up the hill before it fell from the roof of your car, plunk, down into the middle of the road, you can be assured that the garbage bag will still be there in the middle of the road when you return.

Did you know that us country hicks drive our garbage down to the garage on the roofs of our cars!?!

The wonderfully written and expertly executed “Firefly” is quite possibly the best sci-fi series ever. Margaretha lent it to us and she says that I liked it because it isn’t very intellectual or some such bumf (she also lent us Enchanted - quite possibly not the best movie ever - so what does she know?). Ever the influential sort, Margaretha also made a casual reference to Big Wheels (ie: sport-of-the-future) that launched us through a “youtubian web of intrigue” (™) for a couple nights.

The other night when making some Kraft Dinner (apparently it’s not called this in the States!?!) for Fergus, he offered to help me mix the cheese, milk and butter into the noodles and whispered “don’t worry Dad, I won’t tell anyone the secret about how you make it”.

It is now only a few more sleeps until we get to go back to Trader Joe’s!!! Our supplies are running low. Scott Feschuk wrote in Macleans Magazine (March 26, 2008) the following incredibly scientific analysis of American food: ”To be a Canadian entering an American supermarket is to be Alice standing before Wonderland, Harry before Hogwarts, Oprah before one of those slimming funhouse mirrors. It is to marvel unblinkingly at the miracle of it all. Compared with our own grocery stores, the array of food products is so vast, so overwhelming, it is to feel one's eyes glisten from anticipation and from wonder or possibly from contact with a cloud of saturated fat blowing in from the microwaveable pork rinds. We have sausages and pancakes. They have Jimmy Dean sausages wrapped in chocolate-chip pancakes and served on a stick. One day the scientists of the great nation of the United States will use their mighty brainpower to cure horrible ailments like cancer and marrying Billy Bob Thornton. But first they have much to teach the developing world about wrapping one thing inside another thing, and then placing both things on a stick. Oh, and while down in Washington state, we’ll also be visiting the cool people: MJ, Chloe, Frank and Ronnie. Just kidding - they know they’re at the top of the list! Oh, I forgot about Target…

Finally, I just remembered that Fergus once starred in Parenthood alongside Steve Martin and I’m not sure if anyone knew that or not. "Butt Things":

Okay, resume regular family blogging about trees and goats now…

Hang on... here's a quote to end all quotes - from 5 minutes ago... I hope he got this from some television program:
Fergus: Dad, when I'm as big as you, you are going to die and I'm going to use all your stuff"


Frank said...

We love Firefly and have it on DVD. We will happily go to Trader Joe's or wherever y'all want. And we just made Mac'n'Cheese (aka Kraft Dinner) this evening too! Wow!

Anxious to see all y'all ("all y'all" being the specific plural of "y'all" even though y'all can be used as a singular or collective plural noun) in just a few days!

diana(hahamommy) said...

I cannot read any further than "while ignoring the bemused stares of the encircling, sweat-clad throng" -- I read it as: while ignoring the bemused stares at the encircling, sweat-clad thong!!!
I need sleep, though I'm afraid I'll dream of you on a public treadmill, all Brazilian (the albino kind)... shall I laugh or cry?

Ronnie said...

Hard to type for laughing over your Brazilian thong... (guffaw) Okay, done now.

Oh, to have been a video camera on the wall at the gym that day!

Firefly is not intellectual?! That's news to me!

TJ's, Target, the Snoballs-and-other-processed-foods store - we'll happily tag along wherever! See you the day after tomorrow!

Zenmomma said...

Okay now I get to whine. Unless of course I'm somehow pathetically invited up to Seattle as an afterthought.

mesmith said...

Mary, you're always invited! Bring your thong though - we'll all be wearing them this weekend!!! I'll even let you listen to my new James cd!!!

Zenmomma said...

That's right, rub it in. Mumble, whine, grumble, pout.

Frank said...

Waitaminit! Waitaminit! A thong would maybe have been something to consider when I was a 20-year-old gymnast but now I'm a 60-year-old fat man. We don't wanna lose our appetites this weekend, do we?

Rebecca said...


Us intellectuals luv it!

memet said...

As usual, Craig makes his own reality (the bloggers perogative). Note that I loaned them Firefly over 6 months ago assuring them they would LOVE it. 5 months less three days they are finally converts and finish the series in record time, and they diss me! Where's the love???? What I SAID was that Firefly was not as intellectually challenging as BSG, (but WAY more fun).

mesmith said...

What's a BSG? Big Silly Grin???